A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young Mothers and their small children.

You all have obsessions,’ he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said, ‘You are obsessed with eating.
You’ve even named your daughter Candy.’
He turned to the second Mum, Ann: ‘Your obsession is with money.
Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.’
He turned to the third Mum, Kathy: ‘Your obsession is alcohol.
This too shows itself in your child’s name, Brandy.’

At this point, the fourth mother, Joyce, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered,

Come on Dick, this guy has no idea what he’s talking about. Lets pick Willy up from school and go home!

Popularity: 8%

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the Man’s face was severely burned.

The doctor told the Husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body as he was too skinny.

So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin.

However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man’s new face.
He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty!
One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice.

He said, ‘Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?’
‘My darling,’ she replied,

‘I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.’

Popularity: 9%

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A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered.

It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery.

When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, “Keep off the grass”.

Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient’s dressing.

“Sorry, had to mow the lawn.”

Popularity: 10%

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There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals.

A Lion, a Chimpanzee, a Giraffe, and a Squirrel, who are standing under it.

They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree.
Who do you guess will win?
Your answer will reflect your personality.
So think carefully .. . .

Try and answer within 30 seconds

Remember choose between Lion,  Chimpanzee,  Giraffe, and  Squirrel
Got your answer?

Now click on “Read the rest of this entry” to see the analysis. Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 11%

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A doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired.
At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her.

As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized she had a prescription for birth control pills.
“Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL pills?”

“Yes, they help me sleep at night.”

“Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these that could possibly help you sleep!”

She reached out and patted the young Doctor’s knee.
“Yes, dear, I know that.”
“But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old
granddaughter drinks.”

“And believe me, it helps me sleep at night.”

You gotta love Grandmas!

Popularity: 8%

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