The Womans Facelift Knob

The Womans Facelift Knob

A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a facelift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure called “The Knob,” where a small knob is placed on the back of a woman’s head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new facelift.

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Proud to be an Aussie

Proud to be an Aussie

‘Hello, is this the police?’ ‘Yes it is. How can we help you?’ ‘I’m calling to report about my neighbour, Wazza. He’s hiding cocaine inside his firewood!’ ‘Thank you very much for the call.’ The next day, police officers descend on Wazza’s house in great numbers.

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Bottle of Wine Car Accident

Bottle of Wine Car Accident

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers.

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This is A Good Irish One

This is A Good Irish One

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, ‘Dat’s dem.’ The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. ‘Yeah, we’ll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,’ says Gerry

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Warning Don't Phone Vet At Night

Warning Don’t Phone Vet At Night

An elderly spinster who was a dog lover agreed to look after and house her neighbor’s dog while they went on their holidays. The only problem was that the spinsters own dog was a bitch that was ‘in heat’ and the neighbor’s dog was a male.

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Brilliant Girls Night Out

Brilliant Girls Night Out

Last night, my friends and I went to a Ladies Night Club. One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 note. When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the $10 note and stuck it to his bum cheek!Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 note.

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The Dead Cow and Veterinary School

The Dead Cow and Veterinary School

First-year students at the Edinburgh Veterinary School were receiving their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, ‘In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor:

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