Last night, my friends and I went to a Ladies Night Club. One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 note. When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the $10 note and stuck it to his bum cheek!Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 note.
A couple was going out for the evening. They’d gotten ready, all dolled up, but just needed to put the dog out when the taxi arrives. However as the couple walked out of the house, the dog shoots back in the house.
A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently. Then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, “A penny for your thoughts, Angus.”
First-year students at the Edinburgh Veterinary School were receiving their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, ‘In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor:
‘I’m here to put you all into a trance. I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.’ The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.
The priest in a small Irish village had a rooster and ten hens, he kept in the hen house behind the church. One Sunday morning, before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing.
An atheist was walking through the woods. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped, only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn’t on.
A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant. ‘Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don’t want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients’
A group of country friends from the Cottonwood Baptist Church wanted to get together on a regular basis socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal.
48 year old man given senior citizen discount at McDonalds which lead to funny events