Three Women in Heaven

Three Women in Heaven

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, ‘We only have one rule here in heaven: don’t step on the ducks!’ So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck

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Young Honeymoon Couples First Night

Young Honeymoon Couples First Night

A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of their honeymoon. They opened the champagne and began undressing. When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife asked, “What’s wrong with your feet? Your toes look all mangled and weird.

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Teenage Boys Dear Dad Letter

Teenage Boys Dear Dad Letter

A father passing by his son’s bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, ‘Dad.’ With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope

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An Italian Boy's Confession

An Italian Boy’s Confession

Bless me Father, for I have sinned, I have been with a loose girl’. The priest asks, ‘Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?’ ‘Yes, Father, it is.”And who was the girl you were with?’ ‘I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation’.

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The Womans Facelift Knob

The Womans Facelift Knob

A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a facelift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure called “The Knob,” where a small knob is placed on the back of a woman’s head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new facelift.

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Proud to be an Aussie

Proud to be an Aussie

‘Hello, is this the police?’ ‘Yes it is. How can we help you?’ ‘I’m calling to report about my neighbour, Wazza. He’s hiding cocaine inside his firewood!’ ‘Thank you very much for the call.’ The next day, police officers descend on Wazza’s house in great numbers.

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Bottle of Wine Car Accident

Bottle of Wine Car Accident

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers.

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This is A Good Irish One

This is A Good Irish One

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, ‘Dat’s dem.’ The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. ‘Yeah, we’ll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,’ says Gerry

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Warning Don't Phone Vet At Night

Warning Don’t Phone Vet At Night

An elderly spinster who was a dog lover agreed to look after and house her neighbor’s dog while they went on their holidays. The only problem was that the spinsters own dog was a bitch that was ‘in heat’ and the neighbor’s dog was a male.

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