Posts Tagged Irish

True Irish Ghost Story

This story happened a while ago in Dublin , and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it’s true?
John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm.

The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.

Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped.
John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door…. only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn’t on. The car started moving slowly.

John looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life.

Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared out of nowhere through the window, and turned the wheel.

John, paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand came through the window, but never touched or harmed him. Shortly thereafter, John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road, so, gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to it.

Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling
everybody about the horrible experience he had just had.
A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was
crying… and wasn’t drunk.
Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from the dark and stormy night.

They, like John , were also soaked and out of breath.

Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other….
Look Paddy….there’s that forking idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it!!!!’

Popularity: 17%

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Tags: email, fun email, funny, Irish, joke

Irish Confession

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, ‘I almost had an affair with another woman.’

The priest said, ‘What do you mean, almost?’ The Irishman said, ‘Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.’

The priest said, ‘Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box.’

The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, ‘I saw that. You didn’t put any money in the poor box!’

The Irishman replied, ‘Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!’

Popularity: 10%

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Tags: funny, funny joke, Irish

Irish diet

An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
“I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.

When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60lbs!

“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor said, “Did you follow my instructions?”

The Irishman nodded…”I’ll tell you though, by jaesuz, I t’aut I were going to drop dead on dat 3rd day.”
“From the hunger, you mean?” asked the doctor.
“No, from the f**kin’ skippin”

Popularity: 11%

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Tags: funny, funny joke, Irish, joke, jokes

Water to wine in New York

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding.

The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

He says, “Sir, have you been drinking?”

“Just water,” says the priest.

The trooper says, “Then why do I smell wine?”

The priest looks at the bottle and says, “Good Lord Jesus ! You have done it again!”

Popularity: 19%

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Tags: funny, funny joke, Funny Jokes, Irish, joke, jokes

Irish Confessional

An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church.

There’s a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.

Then the priest comes in. “Father, forgive me, for it’s been a very long time since I’ve been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be.”
The priest replies: “Get out. You’re on my side.”

Popularity: 15%

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Tags: church, confessional box, funny, funny joke, Funny Jokes, Irish, joke, jokes

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